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A Revolutionary Approach to New Year's Resolution-Making (& Life)
There is something uniquely glorious about you.
Live Life Well
Hello & Welcome!
As you plot & plan your New Year's resolutions remember who you are, God-pod. You are already ENOUGH – even as newer versions of you emerge.
When you’re imperfect you’re still enough. Your inherent, God-given value has absolutely nothing to do with your accomplishments, nor the the making & keeping of your new year’s resolutions.
How would your life be different if you dropped the belief that you constantly needed fixing?
If you haven’t already, throw off the conventional wisdom that says you must call to attention your faults or be destined to repeat them. “If I beat myself up enough, I’ll be more likely to change” is counterproductive.
I had the great foolishness to believe in the "benefits" of self-flagellation for the better part of my life, until I adopted a revolutionary new approach to resolution-making & goal setting. One that’s kinder, less rigid, more flexible & expansive.
This new practice involves asking myself how I most want to feel.
You may be thinking, "But what about old adages like don’t be moved by your feelings & feelings aren’t facts?" It isn’t the fickle feelings that can fluctuate in response to life’s circumstances that I’m referring to here, but rather, our unshakable, innermost desired feelings.
Our soul’s preferred desires come from the heart & are rooted in the values that are most important to us.
When we focus more intently on how we want to feel and who we want to be rather than what we have to do, we squarely place the proverbial horse before the cart.
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"If you really think about it it’s not the actual goal you’re after, it’s the feeling behind it."
Danielle LaPorte (whose Desire Map
was the inspiration behind this post)
The Nuptial Journey
(Reflections on 30 years of marriage)
It begs the question, "Why do we really want what we want?"
Let's analyze, for example, two possible ways to approach my business. I could either chase the worthy-enough goal of “I will add so many clients to my base & this amount of revenue to my bottom line” or I could be led even deeper by my core desired feelings of connection, service, creative inspiration & fulfillment, abundance & generosity.
Can you feel the shift in thought & energy? This approach creates a life that feels like I want it to feel & provides the opportunity for my external abundance to align more readily with my internal abundance.
In turn, my to-do list gets a major overhaul (for a former productivity wonk like me, this is BIG). These core-desired feelings direct which clients & projects I say yes to & which ones I don’t, which tasks I embrace & which ones I release or delegate. And I'm more comfortable saying "No" to the things that pull me away from my truest desires.
Let's try another one on for size: Isn't more passion ignited when you generate the feelings of strength, health, beauty, vitality & vibrancy than saying “I need to exercise & eat a healthy diet” all on its own does?
When we’re guided by how we want to feel, a totally different energy backs our doing—perfectly compatible with taking action, instigating change or accomplishing goals. It’s a way of being that automatically produces a significantly better way of doing.
Laugh Lines are Sexy
How to Stop Saying Yes When You Mean No
The Dalai Palma
When Nature Pulls a Fast One
A Mulligan (Life's Second Chances)
The Kindness of a Stranger
Making Uncertainty an Ally
Lovin' the Town You're With
Being Part of Someone's First
Desire always wins over discipline.
Give yourself permission to reconnect to how you want to feel & to desire what you desire without judgment (your own or others'). Block out all the noise & follow your own unique path.
Be sure to align before building. There's nothing like the sense of emptiness & disappointment that comes with finally reaching a goal you've been working to achieve, & realizing it was never really your goal to begin with.
Don’t doubt the legitimacy of your desires (impulses, interests, likes, & dislikes).
Don’t strike bargains with your desires. Some day when ____________. Inhabit them now.
"An Amazing Life Story..."
How do you want to feel?
Your list may include, but is certainly not limited to:
Beloved. Safe. Free. Peaceful. Joyful. Abundant. Healthy. Strong. Courageous. Accomplished. Playful. Empowered. Bold. Secure. Inspired. Vibrant. Useful. Passionate. Happy. Cherished. Satisfied. Influential. Adventurous. Beautiful. Connected. Authentic. Fearless.
The sky’s the limit, but narrowing it down to your top 3-5 helps for reasons of focus. (And each new year, I choose one to stand above the rest for greater emphasis.)
When we clarify & pursue what means the most to us, we become more intentional & our
lives take on greater purpose. Once we get laser-lucid clear on how we want to feel, it’s those feelings that pilot our choices and fuel our actions & habits with more ease & more joy.
Instead of being driven, We’re drawn.
Inspired action naturally follows. As does growth & change.
We intuitively & joyfully do the things that bring about our richest life. More flow. Less hard, slugging work. Better results.
And the best part is that when the experiences of our lives help us to understand that we desire something, the circumstances to achieve it appear before us. All kinds of benevolent help & synchronicities come our way. That's how God rolls.
And not only are our desire-fueled goals considerably more powerful, but they undoubtedly make us of more use to the world.
"We are desire.
It is the essence of the human Soul, the secret of our existence.
Absolutely nothing of human greatness is ever accomplished without it.
Not a symphony has been written, a mountain climbed, an injustice fought, or a love sustained apart from desire. Desire fuels our search for the life we prize."
This practice demystified the faith/manifestation process for me.
"Whatsoever you desire when you pray,
believe that you receive them, and you shall have them."
When we capture, in our present imagination, the feelings associated with our realized desire – that is, the substance of the things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen – then our desire fulfilled becomes the tree of life. Right here. Right now.
The end of longing is being.
And being is like already having.
No more hope deferred. No more postponing satisfaction until we cross the finish line.
Imagining the reality of our dreams with faith & perseverance – while disregarding appearances & the evidence of our senses – may very well be the hardest kind of mental labor there is, but, if so, it yields the greatest returns.
Because needing nothing attracts everything (a paradox of paradoxes that can be hard to grasp at first).
Begin today by digging deep past the shallow to identify your innermost desires. Then ask yourself what you can do to feel that way today. To think “feelingly” on any desire begins a creative process that ends with bold, consistent action.
And continue to practice loving yourself, inside & out, exactly as you are – even as newer versions of you emerge. Forgive yourself, if necessary, then offer yourself complete, unconditional kindness & approval regardless of what has or is taking place in your life. We’re all doing the best we can with what we have for now. And that’s enough.
Because if we don’t believe we are deserving of a BIG BOLD BRIGHT existence & our deepest desires, they’re unlikely, if not impossible, to materialize.
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If life inspires a desire in us, it also has the wherewithal to deliver it. Knowing this, really, really knowing this, helps us run, hearts wide open, in the direction of our most deeply held dreams & desires.
This is our year, Beloved; anything & everything is possible. Let’s dare to desire together.
Companion Post: Desire – Part 2
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It's Happy in Here (TM) (Series) | How to Be Happy 22 Tips to Everyday Bliss by Cindy O'Krepki Published by Words That Live On, LLC © 2013 All Rights Reserved.